Meditation Monday – mediocrity

The false choice of mediocrity

Too often, we’re presented with choices that don’t please us. We can pick one lousy alternative or the other. And too often, we pick one.

I was struck by Apple’s choice to put a glass screen on the original iPhone. Just six weeks before it was announced, Steve Jobs decided he wanted a scratchproof glass screen. The thing is, this wasn’t an option. It wasn’t possible, reliable, feasible or appropriately priced. It couldn’t be done with certainty, and almost any other organization would have taken it off the list of appropriate choices.

It was unreasonable.

And that’s the key. Remarkable work is always not on the list, because if it was, it would be commonplace, not remarkable.

I’ve been thinking about this post by Seth Godin about mediocrity. While it’s intended for business decisions, I think it applies to most everything. Too often we settle for what’s easily available. We want a shirt, but the colors at the store aren’t really our favorite, but we buy one anyway. We tell ourselves it doesn’t really matter.

I love this light blue bowl. Perfect for a snack.

Maybe it doesn’t really matter for some people. But for me, it matters more than I realize at the time. I mentioned in a previous post how I wind up keeping things until they fall apart. Which means that shirt I’m not terribly fond of winds up in my closet for five years or longer. That’s five years of wearing something that doesn’t make me happy.

And it’s not just clothes. It’s dishes. And home furnishings. And so many other things.

This little bowl comes in handy for dipping sauces.

It’s a challenge, though. We’re on a tight budget, and don’t intend to furnish the different rooms of the house until we have done the carpet and moved the walls. It’s a slow process. And I’ve taken some hand-me-down furniture from friends. Some pieces are really nice, even if they’re not what I’d purchase if money were available.

Lately I’ve been on a mission to pick up cute little dishes at Goodwill. My sole criteria is that it has to make me happy to look at. They don’t have to be fancy or expensive, or even unchipped or unstained. They only have to make me happy. Everything gets a 10 second appraisal, and if there is any hesitation, then I just put it back on the shelf.

I love this rainbow bowl!

But, while I may have an ever-growing collection of dishes that make me happy, there’s still quite a bit around here that is merely “made-do.” I think it’s time I start figuring out a way to replace them, one by one.

Friday Favorites – I love surprises!

A couple of weeks ago, we had one of our regular game night parties. A friend who lives in the East Bay and doesn’t always make it, came and brought with her a pair of really fabulous hand-made slippers!

Shellee made these herself.

She made these in pink, just for me! They’re super comfortable and warm! She knitted them and then felted them. She even made a pair for Eric. I love them!

The week before the party, Cat came over for a visit, and brought this with her:

It’s a bit intimidating!

Compared to my current sewing machine, this is like the Starship Enterprise. More buttons and levels than I know what to do with. I can’t wait to get it setup in my sewing room and spend some time figuring it out!

And the weekend before, Eric’s mom brought us these two tables:

Our new, smaller gaming table!

They re-furnished their living room, and gave us their old tables. The smaller rectangle one is a bit out of place between those two chairs, and will probably get moved. But the big round table is perfect for secondary games during our gaming parties. We pulled up the chairs and some floor cushions, and it was great!  Now, if we could just get some new carpet, that room would be really nice!

Meditation Monday

“Stranger, if you passing meet me and desire to speak to me, why should you not speak to me? And why should I not speak to you?” Walt Whitman

I like to tell people I’m shy. It’s fun to watch them try to stifle their laughter.

I’m not at all shy. I have a vague memory of being afraid to talk to strangers when I was very young, but that went away. Far, far away. Now, I’ll talk to anyone. In the grocery store line. In elevators. Walking down the street. On the bus.

Kyle, Cat, and Eric, gaming, as usual.

I know that there people who aren’t comfortable talking to strangers, and I try to pay attention to that when I’m chatting. I don’t want to make anyone feel anxious. But those people are few and far between. Most people are kinda surprised when I start talking with them, but jump into the conversation pretty easily.

Which is partly why I have enjoyed the jobs where I’ve worked directly with the public. Working at the fair last summer was a total blast. Every day, I got to go out and talk to as many people as possible about what kind of fun they were having, asking questions about their lives and experiences with the fair in the past, chat with the kids in 4-H and FFA, and interview the performers.

Most of these interactions are passing. But, some are lasting. I’ve made some great friends from people I’ve just struck up a conversation with. Cat and Diane are my former bus-buddies. Shellee and Nancy are folks I emailed randomly out of the blue based on a shared interest. And then there are all the great friends I’ve met through them!

Eric and Heather, and more gaming.

But even if I don’t become friends with everyone I chat with, I still meet some interesting people. Like the woman in line at the Flying Goat wearing the Monty Python t-shirt. Turns out, she sews costumes and is into all kinds of geeky stuff.

And, recently, Eric has been reaching out to fellow gamers in the area by posting things to the Santa Rosa sub-reddit board. We’ve invited a couple of them over for parties, and they all seem like people we would want to hang with more regularly.

Sure, there are some not-so-pleasant people out there, and usually within a minute or two I can tell when someone isn’t going to be good future-friend material. But even those people are still worth talking to. Those are the people who share simple recipes or give me ideas for crafts projects.

Nancy, Gwen, Jakie, Wyatt, and Kyle. And some Zombie Dice.

And there are folks who aren’t in a mood to chat or are otherwise uninterested. And that’s OK too. I can usually spot those people, and if my initial smile doesn’t get returned, I figure they’re not into chatting. I totally respect that. There are times when I’m not in a mood for chatting either. Those times are few and far between, but they do happen.

The few creepsters I meet are relatively easy to deal with. The first rule is that I always trust my gut. If someone gives me a creepy vibe, I pay attention to that and adjust my interaction. My personal boundaries are pretty strong to begin with, and I regularly reinforce them.

Salut!

On the whole, most people are just regular folks who enjoy chatting. So, yeah, I’m going to keep talking to strangers.

Meditation Monday

I’m a terrible shopper. I really dislike shopping for most things other than plants and food. The last time I was in the mall, we were simply walking through. The last new item of clothing I bought other than underwear was… honestly, I can’t remember.

I don’t have harsh judgements against people who like to shop. I’m not anti-shopping in general. I just don’t care to do it myself. Or, at least, not shopping in the usual sense of the word.

I do like to go to thrift stores and consignment shops and look for interesting items I can repurpose or alter to fit my needs. I love buying clothes and ripping them apart to make something new-t0-me.

Otherwise, if I have to buy something new, I try to make it a point to buy things that will last. We’ve had the same two pairs of bath towels for years. They get alternated each week, and are holding up fine. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who would have replaced them by now, but we’ll keep them until they’re turned into rags. Actually, it felt like a splurge to me to buy them, since we still had perfectly usable towels. I just didn’t like those towels because they didn’t match our bathroom colors.

But I don’t always buy things new with that much care. There are far too many items I’ve purchased when I was already at the store shopping for something else specific, like new underwear, and felt like I needed something but didn’t have the time or energy to get the specific one I wanted. Very little care goes into buying these things, and I usually wind up with something I only sorta like. But, you know, I needed a new sweater, and this one fits and isn’t ugly. I needed new slippers, and these fit, even though they’re not the color I like.

The problem with that method is that since I don’t shop very often, I’m not likely to replace these items with something I like better, and instead I wind up wearing something I don’t really like. For years. Until it falls apart or becomes so stained it gets relegated to yard-work clothing. So even something that I bought because I felt like I needed it, even though it makes me sad, gets to hang around, getting worn regularly.

So, with this new understanding, my new goal is to be extra vigilant when shopping in the future, approaching each purchase with the knowledge that even an impulse buy will linger in my closet for years, and only bring home items that make me truly happy. If I’m at all uneasy about the purchase, I’ll agree to let myself off the hook, rather than bring home something that isn’t right. I owe it to myself to keep my home as joyful as possible, and only fill it with things that belong.

Update on Mr. Bob

Just a quick update on Mr. Bob’s health.

He knows where all the sunny spots show up during the day.

He’s actually doing quite well. His appetite has returned. I’m still having to feed him by hand, but mainly because he doesn’t find sweet potato or pumpkin enough like food to eat it on his own. But he now asks for the milk in the bottom of Eric’s cereal bowl, and has been known to nose around other dishes as well.

I’ve taken to mixing up sweet potato and canned cat food, and pureeing it for Little Girl, which she likes well enough. For Bob, I add some tuna water and he’ll eat it when he’s hungry. Which is a good step. I’m hoping that eventually, I’ll be able to reduce the amount of cat food in the mix and then reduce the amount of tuna water. But that’s a long way off, it seems.

They’re happy to share!

He is also being more social. He still runs when he sees me coming, sadly, but he’s no longer hiding from us. When he was very sick, he would find a dark corner somewhere to be alone. Even when we made him sleep on the bed with us, he wouldn’t snuggle with us or with Little Girl. In the last couple of days, I’ve caught them snuggled up together in the cat bed in the sun.

I even heard him meow for the first time in months. And, when we had friends over on Saturday night, he even came downstairs to visit with us and walk around under the table.

Once I even found them spooning!

He goes back to the vet next week for a follow up visit. I’m hoping to find out whether the lab work shows an improvement to match his actions, and confirm that we’re following the right course of action.

In the meantime, I’m trying to convince him that he’s not going to be tortured (read: have food or medicine shove in his face) every time I come after him. Slowly, he’s letting me pet him a little more.

The good, the bad, and the ugly

We’re going on a little more than 6 weeks since Mr. Bob’s diagnosis. Since then, I’ve learned A LOT about myself, my cat, and his condition.

Just chilling on his favorite spot — the back of the futon.

The good: While it has been very trying, and an emotional roller coaster, it’s also been nice to have this time with Bob. No matter what happens, it will cherish each and every snuggle and purr I get from him. Not that I didn’t already cherish them, mind you. But there’s a renewed sense of specialness to them now.

This is his smushy pumpkin face, all wrapped up in a blanket.

The bad: I’m still dealing with dropped commitments and reshuffling priorities. Friends have been put on hold, and work has been intermittent. And while I’m cherishing my good moments with Bob, I’m left with little extra energy for anyone or anything outside of care taking. I have more respect for people who have special needs children or elderly parents who need constant care. I’m just dealing with a little cat that I can wrap up in a towel and force feed, and it’s still an emotional challenge to get through some days. And I’ll admit, I got really frustrated the other day and hit my cat on the head to get him to stop squirming.

All snuggled up in a towel. Not happy, though.

The ugly: My yard. It looks like I was in the middle of a big project and then just quit. Which is what happened. Paving stones are still half assembled. There’s a pile of straw left where it fell. Plants are dying left and right. All the plants I’ve bought in the last two months are dried up twigs, still in their plastic containers. But the weeds are flourishing. I finally found a free minute and two free brain cells and turned on the automatic sprinklers, so maybe that’ll help save a couple of plants. Of course, that’ll also encourage the weeds. Oh well. Bob is far more important than anything going on outside.

Not a happy cat. Not happy at all.

Funnily, I was out getting the mail yesterday, and the neighbor was just pulling up. I chatted with her for a minute and then jokingly apologized for the state of our yard and then explained the situation. Turns out, she has a blind, elderly dog with kidney failure and she’s pretty much doing the same thing at her house. So, there’s that consolation.

Spontaneous snuggles are the best.

Wordless Wednesday – things I collect

Thankful Thursday – Just a drop in the blessings bucket

The unthankful heart… discovers no mercies;
but let the thankful heart
sweep through the day and,
as the magnet finds the iron,
so will it find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
~Henry Ward Beecher

I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. I’ve been quite blessed. Even with my recent illnesses and depressed moments, I’ve always been aware of the wonderful parts of my life. Which is probably why Thanksgiving has always been my most favorite holiday.

But thankfulness shouldn’t be a once-a-year event. So that’s why I’m hoping to start posting a short list of things I’m thankful for on a regular basis. Following a sorta of family tradition where we put three kernels of unpopped corn on each plate at Thanksgiving, with the instructions that everyone should be able to name three things they’re thankful for, I’ll come up with three each week. What better way to remind myself of the things I’m thankful for?

Solar-powered kitty.

1. Mr. Bob. Seriously, I love this cat more than a human should probably love an animal. He’s my lover boy. He’s been a constant snuggle companion when I’ve been sick or studying. I don’t think I could sleep well without him on me somewhere.

Just your average wizards on a drinking spree.

2. I have some seriously awesome friends. I put out that I needed a hug on my Facebook page, and within a couple of hours I’d already gotten almost 20 responses. You folks are just awesome. I don’t have enough great photos of many of them, sadly. I’ll have to work on that.

Everyone can be a Rock Band star!

3. I live in a truly beautiful place. Even when the weather doesn’t do exactly what I’d like it to, it’s still beautiful. Of course, when the weather cooperates, it’s even more beautiful.

I hope to do this again this year.

Not a bad start.

What are you thankful for today?

A piece of my heart

So, in yesterday’s blog, I mentioned that I had to take Mr. Bob to the vet. Some of you have pinged me to ask how his visit went, so I just wanted to make a quick post to let you know everything is fine.

If you haven’t “met” Mr. Bob yet, let me introduce you.

He loves to perch on top of the ladder.

He’s my “loverboy,” my “snugglebug,” my “little boy.” Bob-o. Bob-aroni. Bob-aloo. Bob-olio. Señor Bob. Adora-Bob. Mr. Bob is a very large piece of my heart walking around in the world on four legs.

Late last week, Mr. Bob started to cough. A lot. And then he got a runny nose and gunky eyes. Nothing terrible, but still worrisome considering he’s 14 years old. So, I made an appointment with a new vet recommended by a friend. (My other vet wasn’t terrible, but I always felt like I was being scolded, and I don’t care for that.)

But he prefers to perch on top of Eric.

In the office, he was so cute. We let him out of the travel box, and the vet tech opened up a cupboard they let the cats use as a place to hide. It was so sweet. He was scared, which is such a rare thing to see. Mr. Bob is the ruler of the house. He’s never scared. He owes the place, and trusts us implicitly.

The vet checked his eyes and nose, and took samples to look at under the microscope. He listened to his heart and lungs, and said he sounded good. He even had me to re-do the math on how old he is, because he couldn’t believe Bob is 14.

We talked about the coughing, and I mentioned that Mr. Bob doesn’t vomit nearly as much since I started giving him Vaseline regularly, thinking it was hairballs. And then I showed him how Mr. Bob chews the fur off his belly. The vet got very interested at that, and started asking more questions about that.

[Trigger warning for grossness] The he took a look at Mr. Bob’s butt, and asked me to hold him tight. Then he squeezed a large amount of disgusting-ness out of his butt. Apparently his anal scent glands were impacted. According to the doctor, it’s a painful condition, and that’s likely why he’s been chewing his fur off. For two years. FOR TWO YEARS!

He loves his cat bed, and will sometimes even share it with Little Girl.

Here’s where I really start to get angry. I took Mr. Bob to the other vet for the fur-chewing thing two years ago. She had me trying new food, new litter, flea medicine (for an indoor-only cat!), and running all kinds of blood tests. She didn’t check his butt. My little loverboy has been in terrible pain for two years?!

As it turns out, the new food I wound up with because I though he was allergic to the old stuff is too high in protein (another thing the previous vet never told me about) and is likely causing him gastric reflux, which makes him cough.

But this is his most favorite spot: my lap.

So, he got some drops for his eyes, and some medicine for his tummy. And he got to come home. He was so happy to come home. Whenever he gets home from the vet, he always immediately runs to his food dish. Like he’s so happy he’s home, he needs to gorge on his crunchies.

And, since then, he’s been glued to me or Eric.

The little things

I bought myself a new pair of slippers yesterday. Nothing fancy or expensive. Not even in my favorite color. But I’m still super excited about them.

Comfy!

My old slippers were falling apart. I’d only had them two years, but they just don’t make slippers like they used to, I guess. The previous pair of slippers had been my most favorite slippers ever, and they lasted nearly 8 years, with lots of cushion and softness left in them. I tossed them because they were just so dirty, even after hundreds of washings. I got a giftcard for the local department store, and so yesterday, I went and bought myself some fuzzy, warm new slippers.

I’m at school right now, in a cold classroom, and have a busy day filled with meetings, appointments, and, sadly, I have to take Mr. Bob to the vet this evening.

But I’m totally looking forward to getting home and changing into my new slippers.

Is there anything you look forward to doing when you get home?