“Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things – with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope.” Corazon Aquino
For the last couple of years, I’ve noticed that every year around this time, my depression comes on stronger and longer. I don’t know if it’s seasonal, weather-related, aging, mid-life regrets, hormones, or a combination of these and other unknown factors. All I know is that getting out of bed is very difficult. Finding motivation becomes my only daily goal.
As I was walking across campus earlier, I was thinking about this and found just the tiniest nugget of hope in the fact that I can recognize that I’m depressed and still have a memory and a hope of being not-depressed and know that while I’ve been in this spot before, I’ve always come out of it. So it must hold true that I’ll come out of this one eventually too. I have faith in my own ability to weather this depression and take care of myself and come out the other side eventually.
a full plate 
Personally love that you found a quote about faith that isn’t about faith in a higher being. Faith in yourself and your ability to get through a period like that are probably exactly what do get you to the other side. *hug*
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Thanks, Chuck. Today is better than yesterday. 🙂
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Karen, I have had similar issues for years. Just like you I have noticed that it is cyclical and seek for ways to weather the darkness. I think it’s fantastic that you can recognize that something had changed. I will be having a perfectly normal day one day with everything seaming just peachy and then the next day I wonder why existing is worth my energy. Several years ago I finally was able to say to myself why was I ok this morning or yesterday and now it looks like the world should end. I have come to the idea that it is a combo of bad thinking and some form of chemical imbalance. It’s like October makes my mental gravity increase. Thoughts that would pass by lightly all of a sudden weigh on me like a ton of bricks. I have tried many thing including antidepressants, but few things work. What works for me: exercise starting in the fall (I can quit in spring if it suits me), 1000 to 2000 mg fish oil daily, 1000 IU vitamin d daily, making sure I am well rested 8hrs minimum (no shift work), get outside briefly everyday into the light, sit by windows when studying inside, no isolation allowed (spend time with people even when you don’t want to, play a game of settlers or something:). Well there is my self proclaimed wisdom, I hope there is something in there that lifts you up. Remember there is magic lurking around every corner that makes life worth participating in. Your awesome, Mellissa
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