Heart Sick

I’ve mentioned before how much I love my cat, Mr. Bob. He’s my heart, walking around in the world on four legs.

Well, Mr. Bob is sick. Very, very sick. He’s in severe kidney disease/failure. His numbers are terrible. It’s hard to stay hopeful.

And it all seems so sudden, which just makes it that much harder to deal with. He’s already had two sub-Q fluid treatments from the vet, and goes in for another one tomorrow. But the most worrisome thing is that he’s not really interested in eating. And his energy levels seems to go up and down with no rhyme or reason.

He’s got medicine to settle his stomach and help with the ulcers. And medicine to keep him calm and help stimulate his appetite. Sometimes they work, and sometimes they seem to just make him gag.

And sometimes his food in interesting, and sometimes he just walks away from it.

Sometimes he wants to drink water, and sometimes he just wants to be left alone.

And, all the while, I’m trying to enjoy every minute we have together, and not be too sad, and give him all the love and comfort he needs.

But sometimes it’s hard, and I find myself just sitting staring at the TV, with no idea what’s actually happening on the screen, and silent tears streaming down my face.