First, I want to express my thanks to my wonderful family and friends for their support in response to my last post. It’s heartwarming to know that so many people are pulling for me.
I started taking my thyroid medicine on Friday. It’s still too soon to see any improvement in my energy levels, and I still struggle with overwhelming fatigue. I have these short periods of low-level activity, but then I have to rest. I promised my doctor that I would give the medicine a month before expecting to see any improvements. While it is a relief to finally know what the problem is and to have a plan to fix it, a month is a long time to have to wait to start feeling better. When I think about it, I start to get upset. So, I try not to think about it.
It also doesn’t help that we’re heading into the holidays. I’m usually pretty upbeat about the holidays, but this year I’m feeling more anxious than excited. I don’t have the mental reserves right now to handle the emotional aspects. I miss my family. I miss them year-round, of course, but the holidays make me miss them more. I feel nostalgic and homesick, and because I’m tired, I can’t distract myself with happy thoughts as easily.
Along the same lines, because of my emotional fragility, I’m not really good at handling much in the way of confrontation or drama. I know I already explained how I’m cutting back on my commitments and activities. I’m also cutting back on my worrying and stressing. Or at least I’m trying to. I’m figuring out how best to strengthen my personal boundaries.
I’ve been doing some thinking about concepts such as kindness and guilt, and how those two thoughts are competing for attention in my heart lately. Expect to see some posts about those topics in the future.